Christmas broken heart....... All I want for christmas is myself back.

amazing how life changes.... i no longer care about so many things or people. Miraculously I've also found no one REALLY cared about me. I'm not shocked so much as sad. I spent too many years, too much love, too much life and too much energy on keith's career, desire, needs and wants. I just never realized that the friendships we were building would default to him. Life is lonely and i only had him to love and hate. A few men have tried , unsucessfully, to win me, but it seems after his wide=eyed midwestern pseudo honesty i no longer trust the simplest of the male platitudes. i'm cynical and I hate it. As much as I hate him I still love him and I don't want to because i neither respect his values nor trust his fortitude. he's already tried to talk to me behind john deere girl's back. WHAT A SCHMUCK!! hell I'm not even jewish... tho since our break up i could tell you about other breeds toooooooooo!