Christmas broken heart....... All I want for christmas is myself back.

amazing how life changes.... i no longer care about so many things or people. Miraculously I've also found no one REALLY cared about me. I'm not shocked so much as sad. I spent too many years, too much love, too much life and too much energy on keith's career, desire, needs and wants. I just never realized that the friendships we were building would default to him. Life is lonely and i only had him to love and hate. A few men have tried , unsucessfully, to win me, but it seems after his wide=eyed midwestern pseudo honesty i no longer trust the simplest of the male platitudes. i'm cynical and I hate it. As much as I hate him I still love him and I don't want to because i neither respect his values nor trust his fortitude. he's already tried to talk to me behind john deere girl's back. WHAT A SCHMUCK!! hell I'm not even jewish... tho since our break up i could tell you about other breeds toooooooooo!

Back to School Again...

Thank goodness I'm going back to school, and JUST in time. Dell is "reorganizing" my department and my co-workers are all opperating with a very sharp edged panic. We've know for over a month that we'd be going to different jobs but have been waiting on "we'll know in a few days" for weeks. It is a very VERY strange place to be... an observer in the middle of this quiet panic but not a part of it.

I've been suffering from a little disquiet myself, though not nearly as extreme. I've been trying to finalize the details for school for weeks, like fitting in my CPR certification and my Physical Evaluation around work. At the same time I've been having to make call after call to the hospital beurocrat in charge of hiring me for the clerical temp pool. It is amazing how lackadaiscal people can be when a task does not affect their own personal bubble. It took 4 to 5 calls for every communication I had with her and the last two times, after numerous messages, i had other people contact her for me. I'm amazed that she still has a job AND I don't find it at all strange that the hosptal lacks for employees. If you have to go through HER forget it if you aren't persistant in the extreme.

ONE AND A 1/2 MORE DAYS AT DELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life or something like it....

It really feels like all I do is sleep and go to work. I really hoped that coming to Dell would prove to be a huge life improvement. Not so much, but I guess nothing ventured nothing gained :) I guess I have discovered that I'm not so adept at corporate America, and that monotony really does have degrees, Heck medicine NEVER made me THIS bored OR frustrated. Nursing School admissions decisions come out next week, and I've got a couple of interviews too... so one way or another I'm pretty sure I'm movin' on out of dell.

Once again it's been ages since i posted, but I placed that last of Carrie's puppies this week. I did decide, at least for now to keep her one non-fluffy daughter. Her 2nd weekend out Samantha (Lenox B'witched) took a 3 point major... so i was completely elated. There is something so completely satisfying about winning with a puppy I bred completely by myself. Didn't hurt that some of the PEOPLE wei beat were ones i didn't so much like.

yet another rambling post noone reads.....

Lauren