The Bra Burners did it...

The world has become a nasty place full of hostility anger and agression.. Friendly advice is taken as the harshest criticism and the hand regarded suspiciously as a potential slap in the face. People blame their fast paced lives, work stress, the rat race, and bills for their rotten interpersonal realations. We'd rather get "assertive" than say please, raise our voices rather than find the root of a problem. People are just MEAN.

It might have begun with the advent of militant feminism. I'm not saying that I'd give up my right to vote, and sometimes nothing looks better than a nice pair of slacks. There were times, I know, when women had to stand up and make a statement. I do get that, but there isn't a girl alive who looks better WITHOUT a bra. The big boobs should fight gravity, the little ones could use the false advertising, and medium sized... well I suppose you could make a case for the young ones, but really why take a chance that one day you'll be toting tennis balls in tube socks? I'm not a feminist and though I do believe in equal rights and responsibilities I still expect chivalry. Maybe its a throwback to my southern heritage and fairy tales of an often fictitous era, the myth of Scarlett O'Hara's old South, but I still expect men and even boys to be gentlemen. I still think he should open a door, still think he should pay for the FIRST date, still enjoy flowers, don't mind if he orders for me (as long as he tries to consider my preferences first...).

I think the traditional roles don't bind us so much as direct us in courtesy. There is a whole generation growing up raised in an atmosphere without gender roles. They're rude, they don't use real grammar, they don't respect authority and they have entitlement issues. The rate of violent crime for girls is escalating at an an alarming rate. Somehow the confinement of what it means to "act like a lady" is much more desirable. There was a time when parents of all socio- economic backgrounds expected and enforced the same level of discipline and respect. Now however the public schools allow lax behavior and only some of the strictest private schools have strict honor and dress codes. Many parents quit trying and the result is defiant, ill-mannered, discourteous and even aggressive children, teens and young adult quickly approaching young adulthood.

I say keep your bra on, wear a dress every now and then and guys... I know its expensive but buy the FIRST dinner. Girls know its expensive and if she doesn't offer to help pay after that or treat you occasionally get rid of her, but DO be a gentleman. Its funny that with all my very SOUTHERN expectations, MY gentleman came from Iowa.

Two big things the last week or so. Heather's wedding was the first. I really didn't think she'd ever get married. She's beautiful, wild and, before now, untamed. The wedding was on the beach and was really very short and simple. It's amazing how powerful, even elemental is anything set against the fierce and dangerous beauty of the ocean. The groom's family is from Lousiana so ther were a few displaced family members in attendance. The rehearsal dinner was homemade jambalya and spicy steamed shrimp. It was a pleasure to share good food with new family and old friends. I was really surprised that so many had traveled so far to an out of town wedding. The only sour note on an altogether pleasant trip was that one of the groom's married friends singled me out as a likely prospect for some after dark private time, I suppose since I was the only apparently unattached young female there. That would be bad enough, but then I found out that he had a wife not in attendance who'd just delivered their third child. Such shameful behavior and such an affront to the vows just made by the bride and groom. Mickey, Heather's husband seems just besotted with her. Its an old fashioned word but the only one that comes to mind when you see the way he looks at her. There were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out as he gave her his vows, and the silly grin he had all night said he'd won the lottery. Every bride deserves such adoration. I hope Heather treasures what she finally found.

The other big thing, of course, is Keith going to England. The getting ready for it was traumatic for him. Keith is a details guy and not knowing the details nearly drove him nuts. After the long and sleepless flight to Germany, Mom suggested he do what many world travlers do and take a valium with his dinner tray and sleep the flight away. He kept meaning to ask his heart doctor about drug interactions but waited till the very last day when, predictably, he couldn't get anyone live on the other end of the line in Iowa. He did finally find out, after much concerted effort, that it was fine to take the sleepy pill... and then decided not to upon discovery that an England flight takes only 6 hours. Oh well, now he knows.

Working for one's parents has to be one of those less than ideal situations. I am so greatful that I had the opportunity to step into the receptionist postion in their office. The timing was perfect for our needs both on their end (having lost their employee) and on mine (having graduated and needing insurance quickly). However its really hard to work for someone that you have so much sympathy for. When they have a bad day, I'm more stressed out for worrying not only about how I'll be affected, but about their problems as well. It's impossible to keep your head down and just do your job.